peace in the storm
But that's not real life hashed out, friends. That's not where the rubber meets the road. So much of us live our lives desiring peace..peace in the sense of quiet and serene places that we can only dream of or find in tiny snippets at the end of the day. Peace in the sense of having our houses and finances in order, and every shelf and closet organized. Peace in the sense of having no lingering feelings of guilt over a harsh word spoken or a broken relationship. Peace in the sense that you have it all together and are serving and living the exact life you had hoped, desired and prayed for. Peace in the sense of good health, and a great job and sane mental status.
But this isn’t peace. This is perfection. And perfection isn’t
something to strive for this side of heaven. But true peace--God's peace is attainable and well worth praying for and basking in.
God's peace is a calm in the middle of a messy kitchen. God's peace is
knowing He will give you what you need--to go where you need to go--when you need to go. God's peace is the ability to have quiet in your soul
with five children running and screaming at the top of your lungs while your
macaroni is boiling over, your dryer is banging buttons around in a rhythmic manner, you just realized your shirt is on inside out, and your aren't sure you are enjoying the spouse, job or children God has given you. God's peace lets us know we are loved no matter what we have done, and accepts as as we are.
Peace isn’t something we pursue—rather it is a gift from God to those
who trust and abide in him. It isn’t something to wait for—but something to
grab hold of right now. Peace isn’t a place—but an attitude deep in the heart of a
soul who is steeped in an abiding trust of God. His peace refuses to believe God doesn’t
care. Refuses to believe that God isn’t here. Refuses to believe that life
won’t ever change even though it feels like it won't ever change. God's peace refuses to insist on our own way. God's peace refuses the urge to
take back control, to throw a fit, or give up on God’s power to turn our life upside down--in a good way!
I confess that sometimes the peace I long for is the cheaper
one of the two. The peace that flows like a quaint little river through the
back yard with the soft song of a sweet harp in my ears is sometimes the one I lust after. I confess that at times I
long for the easy way—the simpler path—the road that is more heavily traveled.
But the peace that I so often desire for myself is nothing more than a mirage—attractive
but unattainable--fleeting at best. This kind of peace is not worthy of the sacrifice which was paid in full on the
cross.
During this uncertain season for our family--trudging the murky
waters of a disease that is unknown as far as long term prognosis for our son—I can
honestly say—I don’t know how we could get through this or anything else without
having our loving Savior beside us every step of the way.
Had you told me a year ago how the months ahead would unfold for us,
I would have crumpled in a ball and wished the nightmare away—convicing myself
I couldn’t handle such a thing. As I have shared before—the worst things I
could ever dream of on this earth would be for something to happen to my
husband or my children. And then on Dec. 6th 2012 it did….
I
have always heard that whatever trial we go through God will give us the
sufficient grace to travel through such a trial—at that given time. Yet, I have
said so many times upon hearing about a trial someone else was going through.. “Oh,
I could never handle that..or I don’t know what I would do if that were me..”
But
after these many months of traveling this road with Jack—these words from Job make more sense to
me than ever before:
My
ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Job 42:5
I
have read—I have heard and I have watched—others go through seasons like this--and I have believed God would provide should we ever find ourselves in such a place. Yet not having experienced the grace
and peace in such a hardship, I couldn’t have ever fully understood. Finally I had FELT these in my heart. God
grants peace in the midst of the yuck—he reminds us He is with us, and will give
us just what we need for each day. No more--no less. God give peace to sustain us and grace to
uphold us.
Because
I have seen with my own eyes God’s goodness and mercy and peace and grace that
carries us through the fire— I no longer find myself seeking and desiring that
fake perfect peace that comes from an easy—storybook life. I no longer fear the
future—even though I am acutely aware that ‘those worst case scenerios’ that
everyone fears—could come at any moment for anyone one of us. As I continue to see it happen every day to so many of my friends and family. And I no longer doubt God's provision but rather find it
comforting that my God who NEVER promised an easy life, or a life without
trouble—promised much better things. He has promised to us his
forever presence, his comfort, his peace, his power to overcome, his purpose in
pain, his plans for our good, his mercy, grace and ever present help in times
of trouble. That’s the peace we really want—a peace that surpasses all
understanding and comes in Christ alone.
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